discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
