just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
