R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
