my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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