Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
