He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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