If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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