Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
