fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
