we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
