fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
