So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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