no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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