Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
