I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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