Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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