I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't turn off my feet"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
