OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
