Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
