You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
try to milk me bitch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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