I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if only i could text you this smell
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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