there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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