He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
