My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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