i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im holly from the hills drunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
