Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
