porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
