Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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