i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry about my life...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You are a genius and a whore.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
