Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
