im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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