i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
