the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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