So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
