i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
