Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
