so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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