He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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