I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
