He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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