the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
