Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
bring money and cleavage
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
