Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
