Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
