I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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