just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
