you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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