Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
