All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
only you would photoshop your dick
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
