You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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