Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
