So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
