I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
