either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
