Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize