did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
