hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
