at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
