i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
