How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
