Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
