your parents love me but you hate me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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