Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
