and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
