He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
