So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
