I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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