my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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