i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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