Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
