He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
