I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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