We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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