is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize