I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Randomize
