How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
