My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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