My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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