Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
