I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
