its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
