You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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