Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
