I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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