this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
