She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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