Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
